The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

“The vulture and the girl,” is the title to a photograph I believe many of us have seen, but probably have not had an idea on the story behind it. It was published in March 1993 and further went ahead to win the “Pulitzer award for featured photography.” The picture was taken by Kevin Carter a photo journalist during the unrest and Civil war in Sudan. There was high level of starvation and deaths. The Child whose name was “Kong Nyong” was said to be walking towards a UN refugee camp, when Carter took the picture. He chased the vulture away and got treatment for the child. Later the child father will reveal that the child was a boy. About 3 month after Carter was given the award for the picture, he killed him self, because the sight still haunted him.

Source: YouTube

I cannot fathom the trauma and hell he will have been through. The haunting and gruesome image of how evil man have become.

For once, one will think that with the level of civilization and enlightenment, war and man inhumanity to man, might be a thing of the past. Unfortunately, that is wishful thinking. It seems we are now more savage than those before us.


It is shocking to realize that Carter didn’t really go to Sudan for the “Gram and tweet,” rather to show how devastating and traumatizing life was in Sudan. I believe he might have had the image of finding peace. Yet, just that single image, traumatized him forever. It’s funny however, to see that in our own present day and time, we can see things like that and the first thing we do, is take pictures and videos, then go about our normal activities. It is always about the likes and retweets, rather than the help we can offer. There is nothing heartbreaking to realize that some of us even get pictures of those suffering and then use it to generate income for ourselves.

We have been made vultures by our machines and gadget. Slowly, our humanity has faded into oblivion. We are not compassionate, neither are we honorable and useful.


What is freedom?
Is freedom absolute?
To what extent can an individual be said to have freedom?

Freedom generally means having the ability to act or change without constraint. Something is “free,” if it can change easily, and is not constrained in its present state. It is associated with having  Will, and being without undue or unjust constraints, or enslavement. A person is said to be free when he has the freedom to do things that will not, in theory or in practice, be prevented by other forces. 

Recently, I was involved in a discussion with some teenagers and how they thought at a certain stage of their lives, they’ll be free to do whatever they wanted, and however they wanted. I have no disdain to this line of thought, because we all thought that way at some point and probably still do.

So my passing out Parade from the Nigerian Youth Service Corp was few weeks ago, and I had quite a lot going through my mind. First was the illusive freedom I have always desired with the believe that getting to this level will afford, and secondly, the question of “what next?”

I think life at different levels dishes some levels of liberty as we progress. These liberties are not far-fetched. What are liberties when on the other end is a load of consequences?

So you finished your primary school education and proceeded to High School. At this point, the weight of parental/teachers constraints is a bit relaxed. Tertiary institutions allows you more liberties. You can seemingly do as you wish. One of the pros of Tertiary institutions, is the freedom to do what you want which in like manner is a disadvantage.

The quest for freedom is innate in man. No wonder, we have tagged some rights as human rights such as freedom of speech, freedom of religion, freedom of association et al. Man at every stage is fighting for some sort of freedom. some are physical, psychological, spiritual or financial.

I think the quest for freedom only leaves one on a wild chase of an unmet reality. Freedom is an illusion. It is ghost chasing. This is because despite the supposed freedom, there are still unseen hands of constraints. while we can easily discountenance these hands, we cannot in fact run from the consequences.

Our freedom and liberties are pronounced in our individual and collective principles, laws and morals. According to Wendy Hui Kyong Chun; ‘Liberty is linked to human subjectivity..’

Such that, I may have the freedom of association but will rather not associate with every group or association I see. Or having the freedom of movement but I shouldn’t be everywhere. This is a testament to the fact that all things are permissible but not all things are expedient. The apex of our freedom is seen in our restraint. A man of freedom is one under authority being cognizant of the cause of effect of his actions and inactions.


Overtime now, we have had motivational speakers and a whole lot of people around, tell us to find what we are passionate about and then look for a way to make money out of it. Somehow, it didn’t really align or make sense to me.

Later on, I will come to a different opinion from “The minimalist.” They will talk about how non of us is really giving birth to with a specific thing he is passionate about. To them, you find something that can generate you a source of income, and then find a way to be passionate about it.

Passion has been defined as “any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling; as love or hate.” No doubt, that defines everything. We can often times, control or work on our emotions.

From the animation “Soul,” we can see the story of a man who throughout his life, has thought he is chasing only one thing and it is what he believed to be his purpose and passion. Eventually after getting his big deal and gig, he felt no difference at all.

Passion is the constant desire to fight for something better. To keep finding home; however this home is eternity and there is no exact end to it, because it isn’t a place, career, family, friends or wealth. Passion is you and finding joy in you.


Have you for one reason or the other, ever thought just maybe you are living a “hypocritical life?” I have had that feeling for long. Having to be in-between two different worlds and somehow you have to keep switching. The sad thing about this, is that at the point you realize it, you might have lost yourself already.

For me, this has been a battle for a number of years, and I felt like both lives were mine, but I couldn’t just find a balance for them. Recently I sat down to ask myself why? And I came to the realization that it is because I often want to fit in or please people.

But no, not anymore. People are one creature so difficult to please, and you must realize that your purpose isn’t about acting to please people but for the greater good of humanity. For me, I find balance where God is and hence there isn’t much need for any double life. Wherever I find myself, the standard for my life is first about glorifying God and humanity second.

The only switch I have now, is about knowing the difference between work, a place for family and those I love and a place for my own self. It’s all about our own healing and perfection.

We weren’t made to keep switching forms. I mean that will be deception. The motto, is to be known with the same character by all. It will be impossible when you have no standard to measure what is right in your life. For me, it is God

Rejoice Shamah Initiative; project clothe someone.

What is volunteerism?

Volunteering is a voluntary act of an individual or group freely giving time and labour for community service.

The essence of volunteerism is not giving part of a surplus one doesn’t need, but giving part of one’s self. Such giving is more than a duty of the heart, but a way people help themselves by satisfying the deeper spiritual needs that represent the best that is in you.

You can volunteer with your time, skill and resources. Nothing ain’t too little nor too much. Volunteering is an exhibition of our hope in humanity. Let non hear you say there’s nothing I can do.

Do you want to volunteer?
If yes,

Have you heard about Rejoice Shamah Initiative?

Rejoice Shamah Initiative (RSI) is a non government and non profit organization aimed at community development with projects geared towards attacking social vices taking a toll on people.

Our target this Year is to have less people wearing torn or dirty Clothes and to achieve this we will be working intensely to ensure clothes get to everyone in need in Communities within and outside Jos, Plateau State and to a few northern states.

How can you come in?

You can volunteer with your time and skill for the actualization of this goal. Your money and clothes will make huge impact.
Do you have clothes you’ve not worn in recent times, do you feel pained seeing others without clothes or looking dirty? Do you want to support this project with your money?

We have a charity bank to receive your clothes and donations to this cause.

The Alex Ladan Foundation is where all these can reach us. It is located behind NTA Park, just opposite Omega Hotel.

Volunteer today!

We hope to hear from you soonest.

Thank you!

How to Increase your Emotional Intelligence

Have you ever read a novel, or see a movie and your favorite character got your endorsement simply because of petulant comments, emotional displacement, or some other blind spots known to all but the character?

This is me, in the series “Suits.” Louis happens to be my favorite character for the wrong reasons. His emotional bandwidth, with forward genuineness and empathy for the people he cares about, gives me a great muse.

Louis’s insatiable appetite for the endorsement of people, particularly Mr Harvey Spector always meets an abyss, making him emotionally vulnerable and unpredictable.

Today, I want to talk about emotional intelligence. When we talk about intelligence, our minds first think about cognitive intelligence. Every human has both the emotional mind and the rational mind, and non is to be taking more seriously at the expense of the other. Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand and manage your emotions.

Emotion is a natural instinctive state of mind, derived from one’s circumstance, mood, or relationship with others. Emotions are fluid. However, actions triggered by emotions not properly handled are not so easy to erase. Acting emotionally is like “I don’t give a shit about the future, I care about right now.”-Louis.

My favorite scenes in the movie “suits,” are Louis’s engagements with his therapist. At some point, the therapist told him he’s scared to confront his issues. We need to first understand that there’s an issue, first off and be ready to take steps.

How to understand emotional intelligence?
Know what:

  1. Makes you frustrated?
  2. Makes you feel sad?
  3. Lastly, what makes you feel unwanted?

And how do you manage these at the right time and at the right degree?

  1. Meditation: in the midst of a heated situation, we can steal a thinking time when a part of our emotions has been triggered. We learn to control our thoughts by practicing outside the situation. By doing that, we are able to give the rational mind charge over the emotional mind.
  2. Keeping a journal: Writing or keeping track of how your day went keeps our emotions in good check. Keeping daily reflection entails intentionally taking out time at the end of each day to sit down and access our day, especially through writing.
  3. Getting feedback: Blind spots are things about you that all, but you see about you. Truth is at a certain point of our lives, there are certain negative traits we exhibit but would argue about when confronted. The fact that we don’t see them doesn’t mean they do not exist. Ask for feedback, and be ready to swallow the bitter pill because most certainly, it is not what you’ll want to hear about yourself. When you do, appreciate them and ask how you can do better.
  4. Pulling down existing mental/physical strongholds: We have to be pragmatic in dealing with certain behaviors. They affect our emotions a great deal. These include mindset such as it is you against the world, being weak and refusing help, procrastination, impatience, rush work, being stubborn, and lazy et al.

Thank you for reading. Kindly follow for more interesting write up. Feel free to share with your friends on all social media platforms. We love and care about you.

Thank you!


I have been writing for while, but never really called myself a writer. I had limited myself to just writing poems and referring to myself as a poet. Subsequently, most of my writings, began to earn recognition and hence exposing me to more people and more friends.

Apart from the fact that we attended the same Church back then in school, I and Evelyn were members of the same group and she has always fascinated me.

She will later come to me with her idea of building a website and wanted me to work with her on it. At first, I thought it will be something not serious and hopefully a hobby.

Shame on me. I was shocked when on our first meeting to discuss the whole idea, She showed up with Partnership Laws of Plateau State and how we all can play our part. It scared the heavens out of me at first, but also showed me that I needed to find myself and see myself in the light of how others saw me.

I have been one, who somehow believe and love imperfection. However, I have come to learn that being all serious and expecting a level of perfection from whatever we plant our energy into, also build us.

Knowing what was online, pushed me into a more deeper level of self development and growth. To gain perfection, I have grown and have also developed. Last time I was writing and using Gram-marly, I came to the revelation of how I can actually write without it now.

For Evelyn herself, I believe she has always been in doubt about herself and because of that, she thought about the importance of others view. Along the line of things, I have come to the revelation of her love for perfection, not neglecting the fact that she can be an emotional writer and self engrossed.

I have however, been open to the fact that we really can’t be perfect at first, but as we advance and grow, we must strife for a level of perfection. Perfect imperfection should kind of be a thing I think.


So the previous week broke with the shock suicide news of a Young Man in the city of Lagos, in his mid-twenties who jumped off the Third Mainland Bridge. He had so much life ahead of him. Quite unfortunate!

We got into a heated discussion about it in the office with colleagues as to why people commit suicide. One of the things I said, and still maintain is that our mindset and thinking pattern affects us a great deal. Depression has been the major cause of suicide, but it’s first and foremost preconceived; meaning it comes to your mind like a world of ideas, making suggestions, and you’ve got to decide whether suicide is the way out.

Life is not a rollercoaster of good stuff and enjoyment only. It’s a mixture of the good, the bad and the ugly. And for a fact, bad things happen to good people; sad!

Challenges make life worth living. Imagine a life devoid of challenges, it may seem appealing but most certainly, it will be boring. However, in the midst of all the challenges here and there, we are empowered to overcome.

Feeding negative thoughts and perceptions about life wouldn’t allow us to see life as a beautiful gift.
We can’t allow impulsive negative and pessimistic mindset to hinder us from soaring new heights and seeing brighter days ahead even when we in real sense cannot see it.

Not as though you should deny your present reality but that what ever had happened is all in the past. We just need to acknowledge and move through it.

Taffi Dollar in her book Authentic; Dare to be real said something profound which I agree with, and I quote:

“Rather than focusing on the past or present circumstances, think about how you want your life to be. Concentrate on the goals you want to achieve, and the fact that you have been given a second chance at a better and more purposeful life. What happened yesterday may not have been fair; it may not have even been your fault. Some situations probably could have been avoided had the choices been different, but none of that can be changed now. We must learn from the past and embrace the future. When we fail to learn from the lessons, we are destined to repeat it. By learning from the experience, we position ourselves to grow, gain peace and discover a positive outlook on life.”

I’ll end with the Serenity Prayer which says:

God Grant me the Serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.

I care about you deeply, and whatever you’re going through, that which you can’t tell anyone, that which makes you cry at night I pray you garner the courage to live through it. Suicide is not an escape route!


In commemoration of Armed Forces Remembrance Day.

Today is emarked as Armed Forces Remembrance Day. It is a day set aside worldwide to honor the sacrifices of all armies ranging from land, Marine, Navy et al all over the world.

We celebrate your immense sacrifices. The things you go through which words cannot convey are gigantic. This has not only cost you sweat but blood also.

The Nigerian army is deserving of resounding accolades. It has been going through trying times especially in it’s bid to fight the renown terrorist group; Boko Haram. And honestly, much victory is recorded despite fierce adversity. We salute your resilience and doggedness to this cause. We’ll overcome!

To as many whose last drop of blood was drawn to this cause, may the Almighty grant them eternal rest and comfort us all.

Much love!




It is Allen Saunders who once said that “Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans.”

There is no denying the fact that this quote, is the complete definition of the year 2020. A lot of hope and expectations had been tied to the year and man, we all anticipated that it will be one of the best of all years. Funny enough, it started on a good run, until there was a twist in the story.

The outbreak of the Corona virus, brought the world to a stand still and shook many economies especially Nigeria that hazardously jumped into recession . For the first time, we were opened to the reality of her interwoven the entire universe is. A small virus from China spread over all the continent; really baffling. For the first time in a long time, the world was United.

There is no denying the fact that the Corona virus did a lot of harm, but it opened us up to a lot of things and these include:

-How we have been busy, neglecting those things that matter most to us. For the first time in a long while, families could connect deeply and feel the love in them without the anxieties of daily life hustle.It gave a lot of us opportunities to re-access our lives, to take a break and understand where we are heading to.

-The importance of community is the hallmark of 2020 for me. Somehow, we became our brother’s keeper. Yet again the fires solidarity and neighborliness was ignited. Compassion blossomed genuinely in our hearts and we took intentional efforts to check up on one another.

-It thought us to always be susceptible to change, and desire to constantly grow. A lot of persons lost their job, but a lot of others where created. Life we not be a roller coaster of our desires and expectations but in it there’s an innate ability in man to create and to carve out a path.

-Learning isn’t all about the four walls of a classroom. It is the constant desire to be better that matters. The desire to learn, relearn and unlearn. And suddenly we just were faced with the reality of how sudden the society has become skill based making one efficiently skilled as against merely having a certificate. This opened a lot of opportunities while shutting others.

These among many, where lessons 2020 brought to us. The hallmark for me however, is that as humans, when we come together, there is nothing we cannot achieve. Our power is in each other and we must watch out to make our world better.

2021 is a beautiful year with still a lot of uncertainties to unravel. Ensure you enjoy the ride, learn and implement every lesson learned and most importantly; insist on THRIVING REGARDLESS!